austria: germans who love schnitzels, strudels and skiing. the sound of music fanatics. switzerland: heidi and guns. money hoarders. italy: pizza and coffee mafia. do not mention ketchup, pineapple or starbucks. belgium: fake country. beer and waffles. the place where all “faceless evil bureaucrats” come from. russia: ice ice baby, communists, insane drivers and furry hats. netherlands: gays, bicycles and weed. poland: more catholic than the pope. appointed jesus as their king. belarus: modern soviet union. estonia: godless, nordic wannabes. portugal: spanish people who speak brazilian and love football. finland: takes ‘personal space’ to a whole new level. saunas, depression and heavy metal. romania: drunk, poor vampires always ready to protest. france: pastry, wine and sex. they invented french fries just ask the belgians. ukraine: rip germany: all work and no play make jack a dull boy, where humor goes to die, socks and sandals. greece: invented democracy but did not put a trademark on it so now they broke. spain: fiestas and siestas ftw. old british people retire here, god save the spanish hungary: goulash, paprika and chill ireland: drunk leprechauns united kingdom: posh americans, football hooligans and tea turkey: kebab and fascism
bulgaria: is that a yes or a no? no one knows. cucumbers. sunny beach aka eastern ibiza. they use the cyrillic
alphabet which was invented by russians obviously… obviously. serbia: don’t mention kosovo. lots of guns. can and will drink you under the table. track suits. latvia: they love potatoes and have six toes, at least that’s what those wanna be godless nordics keep saying lithuania: depression and basketball. cyprus: in a love triangle with greece and turkey. czech republic: atheists, beer and porn denmark: drunk vikings, they speak like they have a potato in their mouth or so the swedes keep saying. sweden: barbie looks, shakira law and nudity norway: have lots of oil and money, they go fishing with the polar bears moldova: romania’s stolen poorer sister that has a lot of wine macedonia (fyrom): just wants to see greece and bulgaria burn. slovenia: is balkan, is so small you could yell at your neighbour on the other side of the country, just wants to see croatia burn. iceland:cousin oskaar. enough said., they’re all related luxembourg: tax haven, rich as fuck, half are portuguese
“This might be accurate“, said a depressed Lithuanian who loves basketball.
